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My story I´ll try to tell you, but you have to promise me that you let go of all your preconceptions about life, death, love and hate, good and evil. You have to read this with an open mind and an open heart. Shadows of the past will cross our time and our times shadows will be draped like black velvet in the future to be. We can change or we can remain the same. Only you can decide. I change but the same time I kept true to myself. Every person I met during this episode in my life had formed me to see that everything is neither black and white nor just about lightness or darkness. It is all about different shadow´s of gray. I learned to see beyond the rules of life in order to stay alive.
We all have been here before. We have all walk this earth so many times in different shapes and forms. Century by century your soul have outlived. I´m not crazy. I´m not some nutcase stuck in a unreal world within myself. We cross dimensions all the time. You may not be aware of it but we do.
My story is one of many. All around you there are people who know the truth. Not many wants to talk about it as you might understand.
So why tell you the secret? Will you believe it or will you just see it as another novel you
plough your way through. Glance over the pages while your mind is planning for what to buy for dinner. My only wish is that you will read it carefully. Then decide if you should believe it or not. Remember to keep your mind and heart open.
It all began on a Wednesday morning.
This morning started out like all other days. The alarm went on at 6:15 and I pressed the snooze button a least three times before dragging myself out of bed. I am not a morning person. I never have been and I never will be. I do everything on routine. Brush my teeth; put my clothes on and then having that cup of coffee to wake me up. This rainy morning I was really late. I ran as fast that I could. Rounded the corner of the block, just to see the bus drive away. My heart was pounding and my lungs felt like there were going to explode. I have none fitness what so ever. I smoke too much. Bad for my health. But who cares. My life was not such a success anyway. Who cared if I lived or died? I started to walk. The rain began to seep inside my collar of the jacket. This was just another shitty day. I was going to be late again. My boss, who were a real Hitler-kind of lad, would not listen to my excuses. There had been to many of them recently. I turned left on Kingsroad. Passed the old lady with the worn out coat and her wrinkled face. She always sat there, on the bench under that chestnut tree. It was like she was watching me. Following my every step, every morning when I missed that bus and every afternoon, when I had to work overtime to catch up, so I missed the bus back home. Why didn´t I have a car? I could afford one.
Suddenly I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and then the voice of a young girl saying:
“You don´t need a car where you are going young man.”
Next I felt something like a warm breeze running thru me. And then a pain so strong I could not breathe. My whole body felt like it was turning inside out. The girls voice said, like from a distance
“Don´t be afraid, lad. Or maybe you should. It depends on what they will think you, if you are the right one or not.”
At this time I didn´t care about anything. Dying would have been a pleasant thing at that time. Burning like hell my body was. My eyes where shut I how deadly I wanted to open them I just couldn´t. The grip on my shoulder tighten. The voice so clear like an angel singing in my head. Word I did not understand but scared me at the same time as they were comforting me. I remember thinking: Am I having a seizure? A epileptic one or a heart related one or both at the same time making me see and hear this strange things. My brain might have a breakdown after too many joints and too many drinks. I was going to die or become insane. Or both. The world around me did not exist anymore. There was just this glow of gray. How can the color gray glow? Mishmash of everything into a grayish clod. And I was in the middle of it. In any case it felt like it. My eyes where shut but still I could see this around me. Like a dream. The edges was not sharp and the whole world was a blur.
“Hold on lad, just a few seconds more and then we´ll be there. You can make it. Because if you don´t you will die lad. Make up your mind lad. Do you want to live or not?”
I knew it, this was it. I was on my last leg. My boss would be pleased.
Then I let myself go. My soul felt light and flew like a bird into this glowing grey mishmash. So this was how it felt. To die?
“No, you little shit. You can´t get away that easy. They need you. They need you to be there guide. The hand grabbed my soul and pushed it back to my aching body. I gasped. My lungs spread out under my thorax. The pain shut thru me like a sharp annealed knife when my heart started pounding again. My back hit something soft and my eyes suddenly opened.
“Welcome to Amshir”, she said. The old woman on the bench under that chestnut tree had transformed but she still had that worn out coat.
Her green eyes, her freckled smooth face and her red hair was the most beautiful I´ve ever seen in my life. May be I was dead after all.